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Susan J Tweit's avatar

"I still recoil from externally imposed structure. I don't like being told what to do." I resemble that greatly. Thanks for sharing your realization about holding space. That and Marie Howe's poem, "Singularity," are such gifts to me today. Blessings and a hug to you, Emily!

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Emily Conway's avatar

I’m glad they were gifts! And I’m returning your hug! Thank you Susan.

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Jan Elisabeth's avatar

Love the slow and soothing and this really sang to me -- " But I’ve learned something about space: it functions best when held. And I can choose to do part of that holding." Held seems to be my recurring word this year -- slowly making its way into various corners of my life.

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Emily Wick's avatar

The line you quoted also really resonated with me.

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Emily Conway's avatar

Thank you Jan. Obviously, it’s seeping into corners of mine as well:).

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Mark Medin's avatar

Thanks again for your post. Definitely found some parallels with my orientation, and that was a good closing statement about holding space. Did you know that if a model of a typical atom were created with the nucleus the size of a basketball, the closest orbiting electron would be 1-2 miles away? The poem Singularity delved into something I've been giving attention the last year or so: seeking connection with the Primal. Or as Eckhart Tolle says in The Power Of Now, getting in touch with our "I am" before we became "I am this, and I am that." See you soon.

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Emily Conway's avatar

No, I didn’t know that about the atom! Anything having to do with theoretical physics always interests me (although your atom story isn’t really that per se:). Yes, to recognizing singularity. Thanks Mark.

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TheUltraContemplative's avatar

Loved this so much, Emily. I can relate so well with your reflections. Funny, doesn’t it seem to be counterintuitive to add discipline in your life when it is personal freedom that we think we seek. I’m living in an extended liminal space right now but I find holding that space, leaning into the unintended changes happening is giving me freedom from angst and despair. Hope you’re still creating pencilled pages. Thanks again for this wonderful essay.

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Emily Conway's avatar

It does, Steve. But it works! The idea of holding liminal space is so interesting to me (and I'm sure it's interesting for you to live!). I'm thinking, now, about the times I've needed to do that. When you are holding it, you aren't thrashing against it or trying to change it quite so much, which, yes, would give you freedom from angst and despair, as you say. I am still doing the penciled pages:).

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Emily Wick's avatar

What a beautiful read. When I dive into your essays, I feel like I can take a deep breath and relax into your words. It’s wonderful - thank you!

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Emily Conway's avatar

I am so so glad to hear that Emily. That is what my writing to be about.

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Renée Eli's avatar

Emily, your days have a meditative quality about them, I gather from your writing. And now, I understand why merely the memory of the odor of soil buoys me. Thank you for this.

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Emily Conway's avatar

You are so welcome Renee. I do notice and am attentive (sometimes whether I want to be or not). I think that’s where the “meditative” comes from.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Just put my nose in a couple of house plants; thanks for the inspiration, Emily! 💚🪴

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Emily Conway's avatar

Sure! Thanks Don:)

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