Such great reflections! After decades of chasing external salvation and places of peace, I finally relaxed into the most unconditional and lasting refuge—similar to what you share as “attention on being” or what I might call “awareness as refuge”, this is where I always feel safe, always still.
Thanks Dave. Yes, the flavor changes dependent day, time, location, and other circumstances. I'm glad that I notice there is a flavor and accept the change (most of the time).
Ah! Creating your own refuge, a place to just be and feel safe no matter what is going on around you. That's a huge realization, and you expressed it with haunting beauty. Thank you! I loved the poems and the mending and gardening too. :)
Really liked this Emily. "Attention to being had accomplished that for me. I had become my own refuge." So, so true. Even though I was pretty tired today, I ran up a mountain quicker than normal because I focused only on the trail ahead of me. Absolutely felt that word...refuge... and just enjoying "being." Thanks Emily.
Thank you for this. What a gift. This relates to inner work for me right now. Rather than scribbling away in my journal, I’ve worked on writing mindfully—paying attention to my posture, my grip on the pen, the curve of the letters. It has been freeing as I pay more attention to my Self. In my own writing I often find myself saying, “I am Here.” How difficult this can be for someone who is rewiring their inner circuitry. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I love “I am here” Christianna, such a beautiful affirmation and reminder. I find that the nervous system likes to go slow in its repair. It likes “small bites.”
Hi Emiily, It seems you are deciding to let things be, and as you relax into the moment of whatever you are doing, the tight grip constricting your heart releases.
When you surrender to awareness like that, it can feel risky, creating feelings of vulnerability, like standing naked in front of a gunman. Once you recognize it is only fear quivering behind the curtain, courage will bolster your confidence and give you the strength to move forward until it feels second nature.
My last essay, Quiet Day (thespiritualalmanac.substack.com/p/quiet-day), discusses where we crave to retreat when overwhelmed. They're like nurseries to help us grow into being out there in the world. I think one of your quiet places is the pool. Love it!
Hi Mary, yes, I agree. I think what helped me relax was deciding to allow the emotions, including fear, to be felt in my body without comment, just felt. They come, I feel them, they go. This is one way I can truly be with myself.
I read your post and really enjoyed it. Retreat is such a necessary practice for me, in the many forms that it comes.
Emily, this piece is so nice! Engaging and well written, personal/vulnerable, good visuals (the black line at the bottom of the pool), and just so… human. You have a knack for expressing very personal life lessons while also creating something that is universal, that others can relate to and learn from. Thank you!
I really appreciate this Don. That is exactly what I want to do, share personal lessons that are also universal, relatable, and hopefully helpful for others. I write about me but don’t want it really to be about me. Thank you!
Such great reflections! After decades of chasing external salvation and places of peace, I finally relaxed into the most unconditional and lasting refuge—similar to what you share as “attention on being” or what I might call “awareness as refuge”, this is where I always feel safe, always still.
Yes! We do seem to look “out” for it first. I love “awareness as refuge.” That’s it.
Emily, A very powerful piece. I particularly like this line 'It spoke to my current and particular flavor of non-being" Well done D
Thanks Dave. Yes, the flavor changes dependent day, time, location, and other circumstances. I'm glad that I notice there is a flavor and accept the change (most of the time).
Ah! Creating your own refuge, a place to just be and feel safe no matter what is going on around you. That's a huge realization, and you expressed it with haunting beauty. Thank you! I loved the poems and the mending and gardening too. :)
Thanks Susan. Yes, it was pretty tremendous, and I have noticed shifts in the way I interact with the world sense then. I like “haunting.”
The refuge we can find in our own being, in being with ourselves. What a beautiful, powerful lesson for us all.
Yes! Thank you Esther!
Oh, forgot to add that I really enjoyed the poems, especially the Jill Osier offering. Thanks.
I liked that one too. Was happy to come across it.
Really liked this Emily. "Attention to being had accomplished that for me. I had become my own refuge." So, so true. Even though I was pretty tired today, I ran up a mountain quicker than normal because I focused only on the trail ahead of me. Absolutely felt that word...refuge... and just enjoying "being." Thanks Emily.
Love that Steve.
I love lap swimming but not with strangers…I thought it was just me.
That makes feel so much better. I’m not alone!
Thank you for this. What a gift. This relates to inner work for me right now. Rather than scribbling away in my journal, I’ve worked on writing mindfully—paying attention to my posture, my grip on the pen, the curve of the letters. It has been freeing as I pay more attention to my Self. In my own writing I often find myself saying, “I am Here.” How difficult this can be for someone who is rewiring their inner circuitry. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I love “I am here” Christianna, such a beautiful affirmation and reminder. I find that the nervous system likes to go slow in its repair. It likes “small bites.”
You are so welcome.
Hi Emiily, It seems you are deciding to let things be, and as you relax into the moment of whatever you are doing, the tight grip constricting your heart releases.
When you surrender to awareness like that, it can feel risky, creating feelings of vulnerability, like standing naked in front of a gunman. Once you recognize it is only fear quivering behind the curtain, courage will bolster your confidence and give you the strength to move forward until it feels second nature.
My last essay, Quiet Day (thespiritualalmanac.substack.com/p/quiet-day), discusses where we crave to retreat when overwhelmed. They're like nurseries to help us grow into being out there in the world. I think one of your quiet places is the pool. Love it!
Hi Mary, yes, I agree. I think what helped me relax was deciding to allow the emotions, including fear, to be felt in my body without comment, just felt. They come, I feel them, they go. This is one way I can truly be with myself.
I read your post and really enjoyed it. Retreat is such a necessary practice for me, in the many forms that it comes.
Emily, this piece is so nice! Engaging and well written, personal/vulnerable, good visuals (the black line at the bottom of the pool), and just so… human. You have a knack for expressing very personal life lessons while also creating something that is universal, that others can relate to and learn from. Thank you!
I really appreciate this Don. That is exactly what I want to do, share personal lessons that are also universal, relatable, and hopefully helpful for others. I write about me but don’t want it really to be about me. Thank you!